Is It Normal or Okay for Girls to Ask Guys Out?
This is one of the questions many people are struggling to answer in some of our societies today. In this article, I will answer this question correctly and explain further about it, including the possible advantages and disadvantages of girls taking the bold step first.
We all know or must have heard in one way or another that making the first move by approaching another person for a relationship is the sole responsibility of men. Well, at least that is how many of us see it, probably because that is how the societies we found ourselves in made it look. For a girl to approach a guy and ask him out is seen as a taboo.
So, the question I am going to address is, “Is it normal for girls to ask guys out?”
Yes, it is very okay for girls to ask guys they really like out.
We all know that one of the stumbling blocks that stop girls from doing so is custom or belief.
Don’t get me wrong here, no custom is bad, and I am not here to talk down on any custom. Personally, I see nothing wrong in a woman walking up to a man she likes and admires and asking him out on a date, etc.
So, as a girl admiring a guy, trust me, just make that bold step and ask him out. He won’t laugh at you or slap you. In fact, there is every chance that he might even admire your courage and get attracted to you. Asking a guy you like out is totally okay, and it is nothing to be ashamed of.
How to Ask a Guy Out as a Girl
Now that you know it is totally okay to ask a guy out as a girl without necessarily waiting for him to make the first move (which might never happen), you might be wondering how to go about it. Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.
Asking a guy out as a girl is very simple and not as complicated as you might think. First, guys are also your fellow humans and not some superhumans or aliens, so they won’t hurt you, laugh at you, or shame you if you do. At least, the chances of them shaming you are very, very low anyway.
The first step is to ignore those negative thoughts in your head telling you he will mock you. Trust me, some guys feel the same way too when they approach you girls—and guess what? They suppress those thoughts and still move ahead to ask you out.
So, once you can defeat that thought of being mocked, your confidence is fully built, and you may now proceed.
Once you approach him, smile and be polite. Say, “Excuse me, please, may I talk to you for a minute or so?” Introduce yourself and ask about him. Trust me, he will introduce himself too.
Tell him you actually like him or mention something about him that you can figure out—probably his height, smile, dressing, shoes, etc. Just find anything about his physical outlook, even the way he walks, and use it as an excuse if you can’t tell him directly that you like him. For instance:
“Hi Stanley, I just like the way you smile,” or “I just like the way you dress. Do you mind if we go out on a date someday when you’re less busy?”
This is all you need to do. Very simple, and he won’t mock you as you thought.
Disadvantages of Asking a Guy Out
Everything in this world has advantages and disadvantages, so this article won’t be complete if I don’t list some of the disadvantages of girls asking guys out.
1. It might look and sound weird to some people due to their custom.
Like I mentioned earlier, although nothing is wrong with the act, some people believe that it is solely the responsibility of guys to make the chase and not girls. So, if you are unlucky to ask a guy who has been raised with such a mindset, he might not necessarily mock you or use bad words on you, but he’d be surprised and shocked.
Also, if you happen to do such a thing in a society that believes it is the responsibility of men, then expect shock from those around you there.
2. The guy might take you for granted.
I know this is what many girls are afraid of, but yes, the guy in question might take you for granted.
Although it happens, it’s not always the case. Real, mature guys would understand and either accept you or decline politely, but if you are unlucky to meet an immature guy, he might take advantage of it and take you for granted.
3. He might decline or reject you.
Rejection can happen if he doesn’t like or find you attractive enough to hang out with or date.
I know this feels bad, but trust me, this is what men go through sometimes when asking girls out. They just pick themselves up and move to the next girl.
What I’m trying to say is, rejection is natural and not some kind of death sentence. So, if the guy rejects you, simply move on as if nothing happened and approach the next guy you find attractive. Try your luck again.
4. He might take advantage of you.
If you ask the wrong guy out, he might take advantage of it and use it to exploit your body and possibly your finances, then dump you later.
This can only happen if he doesn’t really like you, so try to know if he likes you before approaching him—or at least during the process—before you get intimate with him.
5. He might think you are cheap or desperate.
This is one of the factors stopping women from approaching their dream men.
Yes, it is normal for you to feel that he might think you are desperate or cheap by asking him out first. But does it really matter? He might probably think so, or he might not—so it’s worth trying.
Do Men Like It When a Woman Makes the First Move?
Asking a man out is very cool for you as a woman because it gives you a higher chance of having your own man, possibly the man you like, instead of waiting for him to make the first move (which might not happen). The question is, do men really like it?
According to a survey from Match.com of 5,000 single women and men, 65% of guys have been asked out by women, and 91% of them liked it.
This survey shows that a higher percentage of men are totally okay with women asking them out. So yes, they like it.
As I said earlier in this article, men are also humans like girls, so walking up to them and asking them out is totally okay—and men like it too.
Advantages of Asking a Guy Out
Now let’s look at some of the advantages of asking a guy out.
1. He is likely to accept you.
Naturally, men like being asked out by women, especially if they already like you. So, the chances of you getting a “yes” answer are very high.
2. He will admire your bravery.
To some people in many parts of the world where it is uncommon for women to make the first move, he might be surprised—and trust me, he will admire and respect your bravery, and might start developing affection for you too.
3. You are very likely to get yourself your own man and a life partner.
Many people who are married today and living happily started their relationships with the woman making the first move.
You might be one of them, but you can’t be unless you try.
4. You are building your confidence and courage.
Even if you try and it doesn’t work out, it is not the end of the world. For you to have the courage and confidence to make the first move shows that you are building your self-esteem. So, simply try again with another guy—and this time, you might get a “yes” answer.
I mean, there is no harm in trying.
5. The chances of getting yourself a man you like—and not just the man who likes you—are high.
When it comes to relationships and dating, some women don’t have the chance to choose whom they like because they don’t do the chasing. Rather, they wait helplessly for men to choose them. They may not like the men chasing them, but if they can have the courage to chase men, they will have the opportunity to pursue only the men they truly like.
Conclusion
It is very okay and natural for girls to ask guys out. Don’t feel bad about it because you have more to gain if you do and it goes successfully than if you don’t try at all.
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