Why don’t guys approach me? Trust me, this is one of the numerous questions that run in the minds of many girls and ladies daily.
As a lady, it’s very normal for guys to admire and approach you when you are walking on the streets, when you are at your workplace, when you are in the market, at the gym, etc. But in a case where men rarely stop you on the road to talk to you, and probably collect your contact or talk to you anywhere, you might start feeling that something is probably wrong with you that is chasing men away from initiating a conversation with you, which might lead to dating you.
Well, in this article, we are going to look at some of the possible reasons why this is happening to you and the possible ways to stop it and start attracting guys and possibly get a serious date and a suitor for yourself.
Why Guys Are Not Approaching Me?
1: Your Attitude: Listen ladies, there’s a saying, “the first impression matters a lot.” This is very true and goes a long way to determine how other people would try to relate with you.
There are many ways your attitude could keep others from associating with you, especially men, because trust me, nobody wants to be embarrassed in any way, especially men, and probably at the wrong corners where other people are. So, if your attitude is not friendly, then guys will think twice before talking to you.
Let’s take for instance, you are the type that is always frowning almost every time, you are always hostile to others who try getting close to you, always ignoring people that make any slightest advance on you, ignoring people’s messages and calls, etc.
These few behaviors I listed above might look normal and harmless to you, but trust me, people are watching, and some are spreading the story of how hostile you are. Now, no guy would ever want to approach you after noticing or hearing about your attitude toward other people, and trust me, guys are sensitive too and no guy would like to face embarrassment and rejection, so they usually keep off from you as the best possible alternative.
2: You Are So Beautiful/Hot: Yes, this might surprise a lot of ladies, but trust me, that’s the fact!
Do you know that so many men are easily intimidated by women? Yes, that’s the fact.
Men are not superhumans; they have emotions and fear too. Apart from being very successful as a lady, another thing that intimidates so many men out there is being very beautiful and attractive.
Although this might sound like a joke because you might be asking how attractiveness could drive some guys away instead of attracting them. Now, let me tell you this.
Inside the mind of many men, every attractive girl or lady is probably in a serious relationship. In fact, men normally think that every attractive lady has hundreds of men in her inbox messaging her, etc., and he won’t stand a chance, so what’s the need of even trying?
Do you wonder why many beautiful and flashy women are always single in reality? Alright, that’s simply the reason, because every man thinks you are either taken or have men flocking around you already.
3: You Are Materialistic: Ever wondered why nobody approaches you in your neighborhood? That’s probably because you are very materialistic and demanding.
Believe it or not, stories fly very fast, and it might surprise you how many people your story might have reached.
I can tell you that no man really wants to be in a relationship where the woman is always demanding things, especially costly things, and bringing nothing to the table.
Once a man picks interest in you and later notices that you are materialistic, he will not take you seriously again and might cancel the idea of approaching you because trust me, no man wants a materialistic woman.
Don’t get me wrong, although you might have a few guys approaching you, but trust me, there is a high chance that none of them will take you seriously, and the majority will ignore you totally.
4: Your Family Background: This is where some ladies get confused, frustrated, and helpless.
Yes, family background plays a vital role in the dating and relationship life of women.
In so many societies, especially in Africa and some parts of Asia and South America, some families are ostracized by the larger communities that nobody would want to have anything to do with them.
This could either be as a result of tradition, criminal record, or family with sickness running in their lineage.
This is so sad, but the sad truth is, this affects women born in those families more. For instance, no man would like to have anything to do with a lady from a notorious family. At least, a good number of guys will avoid you, which could be why you barely get men asking for your contact in your neighborhood, etc.
5: You Don’t Look Approachable: Yes, it’s true that men do most of the approaching and initiating conversations, but many times, they get the courage to approach because you as a lady have given them the green light to do it.
A lot of men out there are shy and very calculative in their moves because some have learned from past experiences where they were abused, insulted, and shamed by ladies they approached, and some are naturally shy, or you are intimidating them with your beauty or success.
In such a case, you as the lady should be the one to tell them, “Look dear, it’s okay, and you can actually walk up to me and talk to me.”
You do this by sending the signal to them that it’s okay by smiling at them, talking nicely, and probably starting the conversation with them first. This makes you approachable and helps them trash every negative thought they might have about getting close to you.
6: You Are Always Inside Your Home: This is one of the reasons why you might still be single.
Guys will only try to approach you when they see you; they won’t knock on your door, ask you to come out, and start talking to you.
I understand that some people are introverts, but this is limiting your chances of getting into a relationship because you are always inside your house.
7: You Are Always Rude And Proud: If you are always walking on the streets with your shoulders high and treating everybody like trash, trust me, you will find it hard attracting men to get to know you.
Some ladies think it is a flex to always ignore guys in real life and on social media. Wow! Should I give you advice? Ignoring people is not a flex and is nothing to be proud of; it can only prolong your loneliness.
If you have guys in your social media inbox, listen to them and know their intentions because you will achieve nothing by ignoring them. Rather, you might achieve something because so many strong relationships were connected through social media.
8: You Have Passed Your Prime Age: This is one of the sad truths many women run away from, but I’m gonna say it anyway!
Women are not like men; women have their prime age, and it is totally different from men. For women, their prime time starts at 18 to 27 or 30.
In some countries, the adult age is 16, and in such countries, that is when the prime time of women there starts.
Women in their prime time normally have guys flocking around them because they are young, attractive, and innocent to some extent.
So, as a lady in your prime, you might actually have men all around you asking you out, but as time goes on, they will start reducing, and you might be left with few or none approaching you when you have passed your prime age.
Why Don’t Guys Approach Me But Approach My Friends
As a lady or a young girl, sometimes you might get jealous and frustrated that guys only approach and talk to your friend, probably on the streets, school, or work, but ignore you. Well, I can’t say it’s not your fault. It may be your fault or may not.
If guys are talking to your friends and bypassing you, first control your jealousy, check the reasons I explained above, and one of them or some of them might be the reason. Then work on yourself following the guidelines I will be dropping below in this article.
How Do I Get Guys To Approach Me?
We have seen the reasons why guys are probably uninterested in you or not approaching you. Now, the question is, what is the solution? Don’t worry, I got your back on this.
Note – This is not a guarantee that you could get men flocking around you, but it could help you stand a chance of getting yourself a man.
1: Be Approachable: You are probably not giving men the chance to know you or talk to you with your attitudes, and you should change.
Small things like smiles, a calm face, talking gently, and being nice and respectful do one thing: they send signals to people around you that you are not hostile, and guys will feel free to talk to you once they see the signals from you.
Wait, you think guys don’t feel shy and fear rejection and harsh words too? Lol, they do, and that might be the reason they are avoiding you in order not to get embarrassed in the process of talking to you. So, work on yourself and be approachable.
2: Go Out Regularly: Yes, I understand that you might be an introvert, but sometimes force yourself to go out, maybe on a master date, or just normal hiking, etc.
Normalize going out sometimes; this will increase your chances of seeing and meeting new people, and who knows, some might be interested in you.
I understand you are an introvert, but it won’t hurt forcing yourself out, even all alone.
3: Leave Your Immediate Environment: For those who are suffering from this situation due to their family background, this is for you.
Try to change environment by traveling to another city or town where people barely know you. By so doing, you stand a chance of meeting new people that know nothing about your family background or family record, and try as much as possible to be on your best behavior too.
4: Approach Guys: I know it sounds awkward in some cultures for women to approach men, but this works very well.
My dear, if you like any man and you are willing to have him, don’t hesitate to approach him because things might work out between the two of you.
The truth is that there is no law prohibiting women from making the first move. Forget about what people would say, what the guy would say, how cheap you look, and all the negative thoughts in your mind. Men sometimes feel the same way too, but they bury those thoughts and still make the first move, so why can’t women do the same?
So, next time you see that guy you like, meet him and talk to him. He won’t laugh at you or slap you. In fact, there is a high chance he will like you because of your bravery.
5: Be A Good Girl: This is where so many girls and ladies miss it. One undisputed secret about guys is that every guy wants a feminine girl — a humble and respectful girl, compassionate, supportive, and a girl that will give them total peace of mind.
Now, if you are the type that is always forming bad girl, going to clubs, etc., and hanging out with some kinds of people I can’t mention here, no guy will find you desirable, trust me. Even if they approach you, they probably have ulterior motives, and that relationship is likely not gonna last long.
Conclusion
I hope this article has helped you. Why not start practicing some of these things? Please share.